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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:29 am 
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The Jehovah's Witnesses' Annual Convention Was So Organized It Was Creepy
By Mason Miller Jun 25 2014
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Photos by Michael Winters, unless otherwise noted

Aside from the occasional door-to-door visits and that one time, which I still feel guilty about, when my brother drenched some evangelists with water balloons from our second-story bedroom window, I had never really met a Jehovah’s Witness.

Like most, I assumed they were cult-addled nuts, resistant to the progress of science and inexplicably in competition with one another for a spot on heaven’s coveted 144,000-person roster. Also, I knew Prince was a member, and any religious group that could claim Prince as one of their own was either extremely terrifying or weirdly edgy and almost cool. Knowing MTV's Pimp My Ride and the Jacksons also had connections to the Jehovah's Witnesses didn't clear up my confusion.

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South African couple. Photo courtesy of the PR team for the Jehovah's Witnesses

Last weekend I went to the Jehovah's Witnesses' Annual Convention, one of the largest Jehovah’s Witness events in North America. More than 35,000 were in attendance each day. Members came to the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans from as far away as Slovenia and South Africa. There was also a specific delegation of French-speaking guests.

Upon entrance, I got a colorful pamphlet called "God’s Kingdom Rules!"

As I moved through the entrance and tried in vain to mix with the crowd, I realized that there were several men in suits with Secret Service headsets following me. Initially I thought it was paranoia, plain and simple, until I heard one of them communicating my whereabouts.

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“We have a journalist at gate H,” he whispered as I turned my first corner. I pretended not to hear him. “Yes, H as in hotel,” he said.

Someone gave the guard an order, and he politely stopped me. "A press person is coming down for you," he said.

The guards were volunteers for the convention, as was everyone else. For convention purposes, congregations divided themselves into various committees in order to oversee everything from security to media relations; they even took care of cleaning, despite the Superdome’s retainer on dozens of janitors. It's a style of planning and teamwork that must be well practiced after decades of carving up a neighborhood into sectors, and knocking on every door.

Apparently the Jehovah's Witnesses' volunteer security force had been in New Orleans since Thursday, learning the lay of the land and planning everything. At every entry and exit, there were at least two guards posted. One Superdome employee said to me, “These guys are guarding the elevators like Obama is here.”

The main floor of the convention was like the front yard of a funeral home, complete with an enormous display of houseplants shaped to look like the continents of Earth. Plus, their floral-printed dresses and charcoal suits made most guests look like they were dressed for a wake.

As a further sign of their top-down control of every aspect of the convention, or maybe just a tight budget, none of the concession booths were open. Ordinarily, there would be nachos and sodas for sale. At noon attendees walked around with plastic Walmart bags filled with food. I distinctly smelled peanut butter and egg salad throughout the aisles.

As one woman in a wheelchair sat there eating a raw hot dog from a lunch box, she asked me how long I’d been part of the “fold.” When I told her I was just checking it out, she smiled and nodded. “My brother passed away before accepting Jehovah into his life. It’s never too late... until it’s too late,” she said.

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Mass baptism. Photo courtesy of the PR team for the Jehovah's Witnesses

It’s a bit unsettling to realize you're one of the only people in a room of nearly 40,000 who think you’re not destined for heaven, and not even destined for the earthly paradise that the remaining Jehovah's Witnesses will inherit after all the other degenerate heathens like me are abruptly taken out by the apocalypse. Their beliefs are their beliefs after all, but I don't often contemplate the afterlife in the presence of a group whose faith is so relentless. It’s convert or burn, and that’s heavy shit, man.

The music was also super eerie, like some kind of dystopian deep cut from The Sound of Music soundtrack.

There was a big, climactic event on the bill that sounded like it was supposed to be a live drama depicting something from the Book of Something. Upon taking my seat in the vast Superdome, and staring down at what I expected to be an elaborate stage setup, I realized that there wasn't a set or a cast. Instead, when the lights went down, a film began playing on the stadium’s enormous video screens.

The cast delivered each line in a flat deadpan, and everyone was wearing way too much makeup. It was like a B movie made by the Bible Channel. I found it hard to keep myself from laughing.

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To their credit, though, I heard a few snickers during the film from what I assume were believers. To make matters funnier, a bunch of men walked around holding “Quiet Please” signs that had already been made, as though they knew this was going to happen.

Leaving the convention I realized that a lot of what I'd just been through had been somewhat normal, though only in an uncanny valley kind of way, or like in a David Lynch film. But while I still don’t understand the Jehovah’s Witness faith or its people, and while I may still think of them as cult-addled nuts, they’re still just people.

They happen to like renouncing hellfire more than the average person. But they also like peanut butter sandwiches, and they'll laugh at a terrible movie, just like anyone. And they especially like organizing conventions.

Follow Mason Miller on Twitter.


I don`t miss the Huge WBT$/JW Sales Meetings..
JW.ORG is becoming a Huge Idol at WBT$ Events..

JW`s are now encouraged to wear Traditional Clothing if they`re from Another Country..
I`d finally be able to wear Jeans/Cowboy Hat/Cowboy Boots maybe even bring a Horse..LOL!!..

Theres still a Siege like Mentality at WBT$ Events..
Untrained Egomaniac JW Security Guards are everywhere..

They still encourage Baptizing Children..
Who will be Treated as Adults in a WBT$/JW Judicial Committee Kangaroo Court..

They still only pick Important Looking people to hold up Quiet Please Signs..
They all have a Homer Simpson like quality about them..LOL!!..

When I look at those pics it only makes me More Grateful to be Out..

........................................Image...OUTLAW

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 12:11 pm 
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{{{{{{{{SHUDDER (at all of the pics/commentary... and is it just me... or did anyone else notice that the "baptism candidates" all seem to be children? - peace to you all!)}}}}}}}

I TRULY don't miss these business conventions, either, dear Sher'f (peace to you!). They are VERY similar to the trade conventions I attend from time to time; only difference is the "product" being "sold." For awhile after coming out I did miss the feel of "anticipation" that I used to get in the days leading up to the "excursion" and attending the "event" (ooh! DRESS UP time!). As major events in the JW life, the assemblies/conventions are treated like "vacation/holidays" and so the lead up and preparation to "go" was always "exciting" - as well as stressful (which accounted for MOST of the "excitement", 'cause I had to figure out HOW to go, including where to come up with the money to do so from, hope for approval of request for time off from work; hope the car would make it, etc. - LOL!

I have long since learned to control my need for such adrenaline-inducing, endorphine-stimulating feelings, at least, when they're associated with the WTBTS (I STILL love a good excursion, including all the prep! LOLOL!). I no longer value the RESULTS of that particular "high" (further enslavement ... and denial of JAH and Christ). So, I KICKED that habit! And pretty much cold turkey, too! LOLOLOL!

Peace to you!

YSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 2:32 pm 
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{{{{{{{{SHUDDER (at all of the pics/commentary... and is it just me... or did anyone else notice that the "baptism candidates" all seem to be children? - peace to you all!)}}}}}}}.....Shelby

That seems to be the consensus..
Regardless regardless of which country or which part of the country the WBT$ JW Assembly is held..
The WBT$ is definitely targeting children..
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I TRULY don't miss these business conventions, either, dear Sher'f (peace to you!). They are VERY similar to the trade conventions I attend from time to time; only difference is the "product" being "sold.

The product is non existent Everlasting Life in a non Existant paradise..
The cost is every minute of your life and every penny you have..
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For awhile after coming out I did miss the feel of "anticipation" that I used to get in the days leading up to the "excursion" and attending the "event" (ooh! DRESS UP time!).

LOL!!..The JW Fashion Show!..I remember it very well..
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As major events in the JW life, the assemblies/conventions are treated like "vacation/holidays" and so the lead up and preparation to "go" was always "exciting" - as well as stressful (which accounted for MOST of the "excitement", 'cause I had to figure out HOW to go, including where to come up with the money to do so from, hope for approval of request for time off from work; hope the car would make it, etc. - LOL!

That was the only Vacation some JWs had..
It must be very hard on familys with not much cash..
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I have long since learned to control my need for such adrenaline-inducing, endorphine-stimulating feelings, at least, when they're associated with the WTBTS (I STILL love a good excursion, including all the prep! LOLOL!). I no longer value the RESULTS of that particular "high" (further enslavement ... and denial of JAH and Christ). So, I KICKED that habit! And pretty much cold turkey, too! LOLOLOL!

Me too..
When you see the WBT$ for what it is..
It`s no longer appealing..
..........................................Image...OUTLAW

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 4:58 pm 
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The WBT$ is definitely targeting children...


And adults who think like children (peace to you, dear Sher'f!), yes!

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The product is non existent Everlasting Life in a non Existant paradise..The cost is every minute of your life and every penny you have..


Yes! That's the BAIT product, yes! The REAL product is (1) lifelong enslavement to a golden calf organization for the sake of your money, (2) on behalf of YOUR "soul", your CHILDREN'S "soul", your OTHER LOVED ONES' "souls"... and anyone else you can convince to join, too.

The classic bait and switch. Only rather than actually BUYING something, HERE you're actually SELLING that everlasting life...to the Devil!

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That was the only Vacation some JWs had..
It must be very hard on familys with not much cash..


Yes, as to both!

Peace to you!

YSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:40 pm 
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I distinctly smelled peanut butter and egg salad throughout the aisles.
As one woman in a wheelchair sat there eating a raw hot dog

WTF? The journalist's pen is spitting bullshit. That's what I distinctly smell!

Peanut butter?
Egg salad?
Raw Hot dog?

I 've been in so many conventions and never seen anyone eating such stuff. Or are people there so nuts?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:56 pm 
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WTF? The journalist's pen is spitting bullshit. That's what I distinctly smell!
Peanut butter?
Egg salad?
Raw Hot dog?
I 've been in so many conventions and never seen anyone eating such stuff. Or are people there so nuts?

Theres nothing unusual about that food in North America..
What is unusual..
Is shutting down Concession/Food Booths in a Building so people can Buy Food..
..........................................................................Image...OUTLAW

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:00 am 
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Theres nothing unusual about that food in North America..


Unless it was all one sandwich perhaps ; )


LOL... individually, I eat them all.


Peace to you!
your servant and a slave of Christ,
tammy


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:13 am 
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Unless it was all one sandwich perhaps ; )..LOL... individually, I eat them all.....Tammy


LOL!!..Thats Gross!......Yep..Me too..

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:31 am 
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I've seen... and smelled... both peanut butter AND egg salad (both brought in AND issued at the JW concession), dear ANOMOS (peace to you!). When I joined back in the early 80's, they served hot food but by the late 80's were transitioning from that to sandwiches/cold food, including PBJ and ES... and other containered foods (i.e., yogurt, cold pasta salad... ya'll remember the pasta salad... with the green beans, corn, and carrots... tossed with vegetable oil and parmesan?? That was my "go to" lunch! LOLOL!).

As for the raw hotdog, I can see where someone HERE might actually bring one. I mean, sure, one can cook (boil/grill) a hotdog before brown-bagging it to a convention... or anywhere... just as easily as one can bring a "raw" hotdog. But HERE, hotdogs are usually PRE-cooked, so they're not REALLY raw, to begin with. So eating a "raw" one just might be preference.

Indeed, many people here eat "raw" hotdogs; many feed them to their children (some actually consider them a really good "pacifiers" for toddlers but they can also be deadly (a child can choke on a piece), so one must take care and watch the child. Personally, I wouldn't recommend them for that purpose unless I was literally holding the thing myself. Even then...).

Anyway, nothing unusual HERE. Now, in GREECE, where perhaps YA'LL'S concessions include things like dolmas, baklava, and other traditional Greek cuisine... I can see where a "raw" sausage might be hard to believe - LOLOL! Over here, though, we "do" a LOT of "fast" kinds of food! Fortunately... and unfortunately. LOLOLOL!

Peace!

Shellamar, on her own...


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:36 pm 
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nice find outlaw; I think the newspaper guy gave a fair review of the jw convention. for an outsider. he did call them nuts. and said he was bird food at the big A. I think it's enough to keep any of the regulars readers of his paper to think twice about going to a jw conv.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:44 pm 
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The main floor of the convention was like the front yard of a funeral home, complete with an enormous display of houseplants shaped to look like the continents of Earth. Plus, their floral-printed dresses and charcoal suits made most guests look like they were dressed for a wake. this point CAUGHT my eye, yes they are all celebrating their death following the wts. that's why I've been calling jw's WT ZOMBIES FOR YEARS. they are the walking dead...


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:53 pm 
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Oh you Americans and your food... Weird!
-
BTW: The idiots repeatedly remind from the platform not to bring food to the convention but something simple like a sandwich and nobody gives a damn s**t. Maybe next time I will take patsa to eat. Where is my camping gas? LOL!
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:46 am 
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Hey Judge..

With information so readily available..
I doubt the WBT$ is going to attract many normal people in the coming future..

ANOMOS..

That's regular food for both USA and Canada..
I understand how it might be unusual for some one outside of North America..

..........................Mutleys not here today..LOL!!...OUTLAW

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:06 pm 
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Do they warn here NOT to bring in food (peace to you, all!). My recollection is that you could bring food and that they gauged how much to provide by the tickets (I think we used to have to get tickets BEFORE the conventions?). I could be wrong. So long ago, and have tried SO hard to shake ALL of their stuff, not sure I'm remembering accurately. Or maybe it wasn't everywhere...

Peace!

A slave of Christ,

Shellamar


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:28 pm 
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The idiots repeat it all the time: Light food (like sandwiches), no alcohol!


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