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PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:02 am 
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Mornin' and peace to you, all!

My manager (at work) is very keen on personal as well as professional development and so at least twice a year she and her team (8, including me) attend various seminars, workshops, etc. (we also do "retreats", the last one of which was all of us attending a cooking class (pauldingco.com) together - it was a fabulous experience!). The last workshop series we did was based on the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Ph.D. It was a 2-part series where you first read the book and then take a test, then you print out your results to discuss at the second part. No one had to discuss their results if they didn't want to but did have to share as to what their results "did" for them (i.e., did it reveal anything they didn't know, were the results helpful, did they agree/disagree with the results, etc.). Some who shared their results (I did not) did so because they wanted to know what others thought and were quite surprised when others said, "Oh, yeah, that's you, alright!" and then explained why they felt that way, resulting in the person(s) going, "Oh, wait - yeah, I can see that now!"

I enjoyed the series (it was fun) although the entire team did not share the sentiment (some folks just don't like work-related trainings, seminars, etc., as they take away from "actual" work time - personally, I love the breaks/"change of scenery" while still being paid - LOL!); others didn't like the intimacy of the series and/or what was revealed (ah, well, I mean, I'm not entirely sure one should put 100% faith in the results of these "tests"... or maybe perhaps just consider them tiny "mirrors" to help see what [might] need to be addressed. I digress.).

As a result of participating in the series, however, I now get weekly emails though the professional networking website Linked In (which some of you may be familiar with due to your jobs) that include links to Dr. Bradbury's website where he posts topics designed to assist with professional development. These often touch on topics that address personal development, as well, though. Most are pretty good/accurate - I've only come across one where I was like, "Ummmm, I'm not SO sure I (can) agree with that," and commented so. I can't remember the topic but for me, his position was way too generalized.

Be that as it may, the one I received last week was most interesting. I was directed by my Lord to share it with immediate family and so I did. I was also directed to share it with you all, but... well, I dunno. I was concerned that some might take it the wrong way and be offended. Of course, this left me feeling uneasy all week because I hadn't immediately obeyed. This morning, however, I was directed again to share it with you all, and so am doing so as I want to complete this "assignment." I think, if you can allow your heart to receive it, the information will prove quite beneficial.

You can access the article through the link below but I have been directed to post the article itself (just in case the link doesn't work, someone's computer is having "issues" today, or whatever?) so I will do so. The title of the article is "Unmistakable Habits of Utterly Authentic People" and so, because it includes a couple of interesting (and perhaps motivating) quotes, I have posted it in this section (because it isn't really "faith"-based, etc.). Now, then:

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Unmistakable Habits of Utterly Authentic People

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” Wilde made it sound so simple, but living with authenticity is a real challenge.

To live authentically, you must own your actions and ensure that they align with your beliefs and needs. This can be a difficult thing to maintain when external forces pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with or to be someone you’re not.

Most people have experienced the discomfort that comes with failing to behave authentically. Researchers from Harvard, Columbia, and Northwestern joined forces to measure this phenomenon scientifically. They found that when people failed to behave authentically, they experienced a heightened state of discomfort that’s usually associated with immorality. People who weren’t true to themselves were so distraught that they felt a strong desire to cleanse themselves physically.

It’s clear that our brains know when we’re living a lie, and like all lies, being inauthentic causes nothing but harm. But how do you start living authentically? That can be tough, especially if you’ve been playing a role for most of your adult life.

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” – Oprah Winfrey

Authentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want. Their ability to live their life in harmony with their true selves comes from some clearly discernible habits that any of us can study and incorporate into our repertoire.

They help others to be their authentic selves. Authentic people don’t expect others to play a role either. They don’t make people feel as though they have to fit into a certain mold or to project a certain image to be a part of their lives. Their commitment to being authentic gives other people the freedom to live authentically too.

They let go of negative people. Authentic people have too much self-respect to put up with people who treat them badly or have ill will toward them, and they have too much respect for other people to try to change them. So they let go—not out of anger, but out of their need to be true to themselves.

They express their true feelings and opinions, even when they’re not popular. Authentic people don’t live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. They’re simply not capable of acting in a way that’s contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially can’t lie to themselves. This means that they’re willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.

They are confident. Much social anxiety stems from the fear we have of being “found out.” We’re afraid that somebody is going to discover that we’re not as smart, experienced, or well-connected as we pretend to be. Authentic people don’t have that fear. Their confidence comes from the fact that they have nothing to hide. Who they appear to be is who they really are.

They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatter. Eleanor Roosevelt nailed this one. She once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” You won’t find authentic people gossiping about others or giving their opinions on the latest celebrity scandals. They know all of that stuff is nothing more than cultural trappings, and they choose to talk about things that matter.

They don’t take anyone’s advice without evaluating it carefully first. It’s not that authentic people aren’t willing to take advice; they are. But they don’t put that advice into action just because other people have. First, they’ll run it through the wringer from a critical perspective so that they can be sure it makes sense for them.

They don’t complain about their problems. Complaining is what you do when you think that the situation you’re in is someone else’s fault or that it’s someone else’s job to fix it. Authentic people, on the other hand, are accountable. They understand that they—and no one else—are responsible for their own lives, so there’s no point in complaining.

They’re internally motivated. Authentic people don’t sit at their desks thinking, “Well, if my boss would just make this job worthwhile, I’d do a better job.” The carrot-and-stick approach just isn’t relevant to them. They’re motivated from within.

They make the best out of any situation. Authentic people have a very firm grasp on reality. When things don’t go their way, they don’t get trapped in denial, and they don’t sit around whining about how things should be different. They simply take stock of the way things are and, if there’s nothing they can do to change the situation, they figure out a way to make the best of it.

They don’t get stressed or upset when someone doesn’t like them. It’s never fun accepting that someone doesn’t like you, but a lot of times that discomfort comes from trying to figure out what you did wrong or how you can fix it. Authentic people don’t have that anxiety because they would never try to change themselves to influence someone else’s opinion. They accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings are negative toward them.

Bringing It All Together
Living authentically is a perpetual challenge that yields great rewards. It’s a noble path that you won’t regret following.


You can read the article and more about the author here:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/unmistak ... -bradberry

As always, peace to you all... and to your dear households!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:09 pm 
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I feel like the most unauthentic person I know. And yes, it tears me up inside.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:20 pm 
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Yikes - Certainly didn't hope for that to happen, dear LQ (peace to you, dear brother!) - for you or ANYONE, here. I think the intent was that, in sharing the information, others see that it can be done, that even those who are NOT Israel live authentically (which I'm sure we all knew; however, given how the WTBTS' brainwashes that THEY are the only "good" people, maybe not).

Regardless, I think that it is your authenticity that is making you feel as you do, now. Else... you really wouldn't care, right?

You'll get there, my dear brother, I have no doubt. If you keep following... and listening to... the Light.

Peace to you and to your dear household!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:22 pm 
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leaving_quietly wrote:
I feel like the most unauthentic person I know. And yes, it tears me up inside.



Awww, peace to you my brother LQ!

Shel shared this article as a reminder from our Lord, so He knew best what we need. Feeling emotional, I can relate with you my brother. But NOT in a bad way. For me, it helps reveal who I am, how I have grown and how I still need to grow IN Christ.
Also, the true value of authenticity and how it relates to Truth/ being truthful. which is where our Lord is continuously leading us... " into ALL TRUTH!"

So, it's wonderful info for us all. I am grateful our Lord reminded Shel ( peace sista) to share it.

Love and peace to you and your household, your sister and fellow servant of our Lord Jaheshua, Kim


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 5:11 pm 
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Quote:
Yikes - Certainly didn't hope for that to happen, dear LQ (peace to you, dear brother!) - for you or ANYONE, here.


It's just apropos, is all. This very subject has been on my mind a lot lately. My authentic true self is there, but I cannot be that way in my present situation. I have to hide who I am and what I believe from those closest to me, otherwise, I am met with disdain and/or an unwanted fight. So, I have learned to just shut my mouth, even though my mind, heart and soul is screaming for a release.

Quote:
They let go of negative people.
(from the article)

I so wish I could.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:17 pm 
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Peace to you LQ,

The letting go ( of the negative) is and can be a real challenge for many. I am amazed at how many people love drama and are so negative in life.
But letting go doesn't mean it will be an easy task. I really appreciated the comment that it shares that it takes " self respect"... enough of it to let go! And in being able to do so, we can remain true to our authenticity.


As to this.......


They express their true feelings and opinions, even when they’re not popular. Authentic people don’t live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. They’re simply not capable of acting in a way that’s contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially can’t lie to themselves. This means that they’re willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.

[/color]


Then my brother you might have to decide just how UNcomfortable ( this heightened state of discomfort mentioned) and for how long you wanna remain silent costing you your true authenticity.

What I appreciate is that many of us here have either been in or very close to some of the same situations in our lives being raised JW / born - in or coming in as adults. Just about almost every scenario is covered. It has helped me.


Thank you for sharing, love your sister and fellow servant of Christ, Kim


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:27 pm 
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I have already emotionally let go. Now I have to physically let go. Turns out, that's a lot harder to do since there are deep, long-lasting repercussions. Since this is not a private thread, I won't elaborate. If you've read my past posts, you'll be able to read between the lines, probably.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:48 am 
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LQ, When the time comes for you to move forward just go with it. You most likely will not know what's coming next, but "next" can't come if you don't let go of "now."

You might not realize at the time that something you've done by way of response to a situation is a catalyst so it may feel like defeat. It's not, just trust, and pray, and allow yourself to believe that you won't be left without a helper. The way forward may open up immediately thereafter or there may be a few bumps first, but nothing that will cause you lasting harm.

The whole point is to realize that Someone Else knows more about your situation than you do and certainly knows more about how to protect your interests than you yourself do.

Be willing to look like the loser, the bad guy, the idiot, or whatever others may "see." You'll still be the authentic "you," just, perhaps, being given "cover" long enough to get to a safer place whilst other eyes are "blinded."

Just let things happen. Don't cut short the Hand of God.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:06 am 
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Good Morning Shelby!..

That`s an Awesome post..

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:12 am 
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Quote:
allow yourself to believe that you won't be left without a helper. The way forward may open up immediately thereafter or there may be a few bumps first, but nothing that will cause you lasting harm.

...

Don't cut short the Hand of God.


Couldn't have said it better, dear AnneB (peace, dear sister!). When we REALLY accept that we're not driving ANYTHING... we of the Body of Christ... then we can "let go and let God." If we WERE driving things, well, then, WE would be the "head," yes? Yet, we're supposed to be the "body." Imagine what occurs in THIS world when a head and its body are in conflict/opposition. When the body does (or does not do) something the head "directs."

If a member of Christ's Body is miserable, if life isn't "working out right," then perhaps it's because the Body (member) isn't being led BY the head... but trying to lead itself. For me, my life has been joyous day after joyous day... when I got out of my OWN "way." How did I do that? By learning the difference between man's (Israel's) fast... and JAH's "fast"... and beginning to observe the latter, after reading Isaiah 58 (here, from the NWT, but with ACCURACY as to form and content):

“Call out full-throated; do not hold back! Raise your voice like a horn. Proclaim to my people their revolt, to the house of Jacob their sins.

They seek me day after day, and they express delight to know my ways, AS IF they were a nation that HAD practiced righteousness and had NOT abandoned the justice of their God.

They ask me for righteous judgments, delighting to draw close to God [saying]: ‘Why do you not see when we fast? And why do you not notice when we afflict ourselves?’

[Why?] Because on the day of YOUR fast, you pursue your own interests, and you oppress your laborers. Your fasting ends in quarrels and fights and you strike with the fist of wickedness.

You cannot fast as you do today and have your voice heard in heaven.

Should the fast that I choose be like this, as a day for someone to afflict himself, to bow down his head like a rush, to make his bed on sackcloth and ashes? Is this what you call a fast and a day pleasing to JaHVeH?

No, this is the fast that I choose:

To remove the fetters of wickedness
To untie the bands of the yoke bar
To let the oppressed go free
To break in half every yoke bar
To share your bread with the hungry
To bring the poor and homeless into your house
To clothe someone naked when you see him
And to not turn your back on your own flesh

THEN your light will shine through like the dawn and your healing will spring up quickly. Your righteousness will go before you and the glory of JaHVeH will be your rear guard.

THEN you will call, and JaHVeH will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say, ‘Here I am!’

If you remove from among you the yoke bar and stop pointing your finger and speaking maliciously, if you grant to the hungry what you yourself desire and satisfy those who are afflicted, THEN your light will shine even in the darkness and your gloom will be like midday.

JaHVeH will always lead you and satisfy you even in a parched land. He will invigorate your bones and you will become like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. The ancient ruins will be rebuilt on YOUR account and YOU will restore the foundations of past generations. YOU will be called ‘the repairer of the broken walls, the restorer of roadways by which to dwell’.

IF because of the Sabbath you REFRAIN from pursuing your OWN interests on MY HOLY DAY and you call the Sabbath AN EXQUISITE DELIGHT, a holy day of JaHVeH, a day to be glorified, and YOU GLORIFY IT rather than pursuing your OWN interests and speaking IDLE words, THEN you will find your exquisite delight in JaHVeH. And I will make you ride on the high places of the earth. I will cause you to eat from the inheritance of Jacob your forefather. For the Word* of JaHVeH has spoken it.


*The Hebrew word used here for "mouth" is “peh” (H6310) which, in THIS instance, does NOT mean "mouth," but means "WORD":

http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac60 ... ib0kco.jpg

http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac60 ... ubukl4.jpg


As in God's WORD, Christ (remember, words are IMPORTANT and here, they have REMOVED JAH's Word... to replace him with the word "mouth"!). And Christ... is LORD of the Sabbath (Matthew 12:8; Mark 2:28). Since he is [our] Lord EVERY day... and God "rested" on the "seventh" day, and that "seventh" day has not yet ended... EVERY day, then, is a "Sabbath" to JAH. EVERY day... is a day when we are to "rest" from our OWN works. EVERY day... is a day we should call "an EXQUISITE DELIGHT." EVERY day... is a day to be glorified. And EVERY day... is a day to do the works of the Father (John 4:34; 5:36; 10:25, 37]/b]).

THEN, then, is when we will find OUR exquisite delight in JAH!

What works are we to do, though? Well, they include but are not limited to those listed in, say, [b]Isaiah 58:6, 7; Matthew 5:1-12; 6:1-8, 19-34; 7:1; 17:5; John 5:39, 40; 6:48-58; 7:37-39; 14:23; 15:1-7; Revelation chapters 2 and 3
, particularly 3:17... and things like these. And... not hiding out light under a basket, but letting it SHINE.

Can we do these things perfectly, though? Would that we could! And so... we have a SAVIOR... to make UP our deficit! One Who gave HIS life... in exchange for OURS... taking into account when we DON'T do "just so." One Who pleads FOR us... when we fall short!

BUT... we have to at least TRY, right? Do OUR best... to listen to and obey his directions... even if that best isn't perfect, yes? To "sell" the "minas" given us, even if only a few, rather than BURY them.

We cannot, however, beg off. CHOOSE to turn our backs. Matthew 7:21-23; Mark 8:38; Luke 9:26

We weren't promised a rose garden, dear ones - the promise was for a "torture pole." Question is, do we love Christ ENOUGH, to take up ours and in so doing, help carry HIS? EVEN... in the face of his/her... Christ's... enemies? Mark 8:34

Not trying to badger anyone. Just... sayin'.

Peace to you ALL and to your dear households!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:20 am 
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I am grateful to my dear Lord for allowing me to see it, dear Sher'f (peace to you, luv!), and share it with you dear ones, as it articulates in a way that shows it's not only "spiritual" people who understand such a thing as being authentic... and how it can be difficult, but should be done anyway. I am very glad YOU enjoyed it, my dear friend.

As always, the greatest of love and peace to you!

YSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:49 am 
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Hey (((Shelby!)))..

Yes I really did enjoy it..
I think it`s a very important idea that should be discussed..
Which is why I`m delighted you posted it..

So many people are afraid to be who they really are..
Say what they really think..
They let other people decide that for them..
In time they lose themselves..

Being Authentic Allows You To..
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 1:29 pm 
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It's also a reminder, dear Sher'f (peace, luv!), for us to allow others to be THEIR authentic selves. I know how I felt when the "scales" fell off my eyes... and I could "see" what being a JW was making me (into). I didn't like what I saw in many other JWs. For example, when I ran into someone DF'd and wasn't able to look at them, let alone speak... let alone offer some comfort/assistance. I was like, "Wait! That's how I HAVE to be??? No, I can't do it, sorry!" So, I would sneak and speak. Eventually, though, I just spoke... and blew off the "You know s/he's disfellowshipped, don't you?" I'd lie ("Oh, ummmm, really? Noooo..."), then feel bad because I'd lied. But then, "something" would tell me that I was the one who'd done the right thing... and remind me of the "Good Samaritan."

But I wasn't being authentic. I SHOULD have told those who demanded that kind of behavior from me that what THEY were doing was wrong (and reminded THEM of the Samaritan). I SHOULD have spoken to such people, even offered them comfort, if not assistance, OUTRIGHT. "In front of God and everyone." Instead, I let my fear... of being different, being "disobedient" [to the "FDS" and thus, "Jehovah"]... of repercussions from those who were SUPPOSED to love me... who were supposed to love "even [their] enemies and PRAY for" such ones... and allow ME to exhibit such love, etc., keep me from being MY authentic self.

I am chagrined at what I "did" as a JW... and nothing... NOTHING... and NO ONE... can ever compel me to live such a life ever again. I'd rather be a hooker on the street but have compassion and love for my fellow man, especially one in need, EVEN if such one is opposed to ME (as a hooker)... than the cleanest "lady" who is SO self-righteous as to look down her nose at those less fortunate, in need, and especially the "down-trodden" and "broken-hearted" by religion. I'll take Belle over Scarlett (O'Hara) ANY day. Mary the Magdalene... over the most "pious" woman of this day. Because mercy... triumphs... OVER judgment.

And JWs are NOT merciful people. Nor... are they authentic people. At all. Not even when it suits them. They CAN'T be - their "form of worship" doesn't allow for EITHER. That they overlook something the few time they DO is more often due to some personal benefit than due to true compassion. Avoidance of scandal and/or embarrassment. For a particular "elder" or other favored person/family - and usually not the right family! For the BOE (who doesn't want the CO to know they blew it somehow), or for the congregation in general (because that reflects back on the BOE). More often than not, "someone" is being protected (usually someone who shouldn't be!)... vs. the offender actually being shown mercy.

And note, I am not saying that individual JW "elders" are not merciful. Some are. BUT how often will one such one take his mercy as far as stepping down for what they KNOW is an unjust, unkind, UNLOVING "decision" by their fellow tribunal members? Just sayin'.

I was once a part of that... wicked "machine". And as I have shared here, once I was set FREE from it, I don't want ANY part of it. Including ANY [level] of the deceit, self-delusion, and hypocritical self-righteousness that comes with it. Can't PAY me to "touch" all of that "filth" any more. And what a weight has been removed from me! I never realized how much DECEIT, HATE, HYPOCRISY, and the like WEIGHS. That's some HEAVY sh*t, dear ones!!! BACK-BREAKING, if not NECK-BREAKING.

Hence, my numerous and vehement exhortations... encouragements... outcries... exertions... passion. Toward any who can receive it. Anyone who wants the carry a LIGHT "load", by means of a KINDLY "yoke."

Because either way one looks at it, it IS [the] Truth/truth... that sets one free. One, living in truth while in THIS world, sets us free while we're in this world. The other, living in CHRIST, the Truth, sets us free... here AND in the spirit realm... and for all eternity.

NOT trying to judge - just trying to help those who are wishing and thirsting to GET free, themselves.

Peace to you, all!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shel


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 9:21 am 
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I love this article. Very informative, and it helps me to see the things I can work on. I'm going to show it to my family as well. Like with anything that my Lord Jaheshua shows and teaches us, some of these things will show where we are lacking. But that is to HELP us. So that we can work on it, and/or at least see the lacking and ask for help with it.

It is a blessing to be taught by Him, even when it might seem painful at the time.

"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent."


Thank you for posting the article Shelby.


Peace and love to you all, and to your dear households,
your sister and servant, and fellow slave of Christ,
tammy


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