I am not surprised. I am not in shock. I am VERY sad... a bit mad (at him - he would know why)... but I love him. So I am over it, of course. But I'm not.
I just found out, dear Skals (peace!) and did not "know" when you posted your comment. But I knew soon after... when I called... and called... and called... and he never called back. At first, I just told myself that he was having one of his "bouts" (because of the damp weather - he had many days of very bad breathing and our discussions would often "tax" him - not MY talking, but his - LOLOL!). When he was having breathing trouble, he wouldn't answer his phone, or I would cut it short (because I could not BEAR to hear his efforts - it was SO hard for him, sometimes). But he NEVER never called back. Ever. Even if it was just to say, "I got your call, Shel, but I couldn't talk that day."
And so I asked... and before the question was fully in my heart... I knew.
I did not know what I would find if I went there... whether he would still be there, or if someone had found him... and I thought to send my son or daughter... but they were out of town. I thought to go myself, but thought, "What if I'm wrong?" The last time I visited him, about two months ago, I just popped up... and he wasn't happy about that. He wasn't UNhappy - he was VERY glad to see me... but he told me later, he wasn't glad for ME to see HIM. I, though, was afraid of what I would find... and so I talked myself out of going.
I am just glad that he's out of pain and discomfort... and no longer needs to be "crotchety" - LOL! And I think his disillusions with life, both during and after the WTBTS, caused him more pain that anything else. Doug was a GENIUS, although never formally educated. If you heard him play piano concertos, you wouldn't help but know this. Nobody can play like that... and NOT have some kind of genius going on. I have NO doubt that Doug was one of those "Vincents" that Don McLean sang about in his beautiful song, "Starry Night." As the song says, the world wasn't made for beautiful (inside) people like Doug. At least, the world of the WTBTS wasn't and its treatment and rejection of him... directly and indirectly... ate him up.
This song's for you, my dear, dear brother and friend, Doug Checketts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI8fsi_aJ3c
Peaceful sleep to you, my dear, dear brother... and may JAH bless and keep you, until we meet again, and to time indefinite.
Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,
Shel
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...OUTLAW
