Oh Zoe....my heart aches for you dear sister. Thank you for your good wishes for myself, you're very kind.
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I do not blame Jah or Christ for this but I seem to not ask for help to bear it and draw away from them instead of draw closer. I sure do hope to pursue my spiritual needs shortly as it is the only comfort I know of but I guess I feel I don't deserve it
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I think many of feel as you express here from time to time. But this is the very opposite of how we should feel and act. Please read and consider the words at 2 Corinthians 2:12 v 7-10 applying them to your situation and self? And although Christ sees your pain and sorrow PLEASE GO to Him and share the things in your heart with him? Show Him your faith and trust.
There is another scripture I want to share with you which I can't find right now but will hunt for. YOU have helped ME today actually sister, because by searching the scriptures for you, I've found renewed joy and peace in them, and intend to search them much more, the way I used to. So, thank you!
Please try to do similar? The psalms can provide great comfort, for me, hearing them is like ointment for the soul, so I try to do this via headphones/Audio. I believe honestly too, that when they're heard aloud as opposed to via headphones, the spirit in them fills the air and encircles you. Truly. The WORD/Christ is ALIVE dear Zoe.
I am sending you a private message as well so please look out for that.
Wishing you peace the way our Lord Jaheshua gives it,
Your fellow servant and slave of Christ
Loz x