Thanks, EVERYONE ( and peace to you, ALL!) for sharing your experiences! I am encouraged and rejoice at them all, as I hope you are.
Dear LQ, peace to you, dear brother... and I'm sure our dear Lord has already forgiven you. Indeed, even before last evening. He already knew what you would... snd would not do. He forgave Peter, did he not, even after he already knew (and told Peter) what Peter was going to do? And Peter SAW him. WALKED with him... and not only saw pur dear.Lord's works... but personally walked on water!! And, yet...
I also understand your "nervousness." I'm sure we all faced that, early on. But, at some point, we have to "feel the fear... and do [it] anyway," whatever "it" is. Here, it's recognizing our dear Lord as HE said to do.
I do want to comment as to this, though:
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11 eat the bread and drink the wine, it was the same 11 that he was making a covenant for a kingdom with
I realize the WTBTS teaches that only 11 were present, that Judas had already left, but that is not the truth (not sure whether you knew that or not). Judas was absolutely there. For one, the covenant was made with the 12 tribes, not eleven tribes. If Judas had been dismissed, then our dear Lord would have had to do the event again, at some later date, with either the [new] one, Matthias, or with all 12, including Matthias. But he had already died by the time Matthias was chosen as the replacement.
Under contract law, a contact is not struck ALL of the parties to the agreement do not "sign." True, it might hold as to the parties that did sign, but then again, it might not. For example, if 10 people want to buy a race car together, and they are to own it equally, then all 10 must sign. But say, one isn't present/doesn't sign. The seller can't just hold a 1/10th share (well, he can but not if he's selling the entire car). The holdout must either sign (even at a later day, but by a specific date or the contact is void... or the contract must be re-written to include only the 9.
That is not what occurred here - ALL of the parties to the Covenant "for a kingdom" were present, even Judas. And we have proof of that, as recorded by Matthew, Mark, and Luke:
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"When evening came, he was reclining at the table with the 12 disciples. While they were eating, he said: “Truly I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Being very much grieved at this, each and every one began to say to him: “Lord, it is not I, is it?” In reply he said: “The one who dips his hand with me into the bowl is the one who will betray me. True, the Son of man is going away, just as it is written about him, but woe+ to that man through whom the Son of man is betrayed!+ It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.” Judas, who was about to betray him, replied: “It is not I, is it, Rabbi?” [Jesus] said to him: “You yourself said it.”
"As they continued eating, [Jesus] took a loaf, and after saying a blessing, he broke it, and giving it to the disciples, he said: “Take, eat. This means my body.” And taking a cup, he offered thanks and gave it to them, saying: “Drink out of it, all of you, for this means my ‘blood of the covenant,’ which is to be poured out in behalf of many for forgiveness of sins." Matthew 26:21-28
and...
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"After evening had fallen, he came with the Twelve. And as they were reclining at the table and eating, [Jesus] said: “Truly I say to you, one of you who is eating with me will betray me.” They began to be grieved and to say to him one by one: “It is not I, is it?” He said to them: “It is one of the Twelve, the one dipping with me into the bowl. For the Son of man is going away, just as it is written about him, but woe to that man through whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.”
"And as they continued eating, he took a loaf, said a blessing, broke it, and gave it to them, saying: “Take it; this means my body.” And taking a cup, he offered thanks and gave it to them, and they all drank out of it. And he said to them: “This means my ‘blood of the covenant,’ which is to be poured out in behalf of many. Mark 14:17-24
and...
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"... when the hour came, he reclined at the table along with the apostles. And he said to them: “I have greatly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I tell you, I will not eat it again until it is fulfilled in the Kingdom of God.” And accepting a cup, he gave thanks and said: “Take this and pass it from one to the other among yourselves, for I tell you, from now on, I will not drink again from the product of the vine until the Kingdom of God comes.”
"Also, he took a loaf, gave thanks, broke it, and gave it to them, saying: “This means my body, which is to be given in your behalf. Keep doing this in remembrance of me.” Also, he did the same with the cup after they had the evening meal, saying: “This cup means the new covenant by virtue of my blood, which is to be poured out in your behalf.
“But look! the hand of my betrayer is with me at the table. For, indeed, the Son of man is going his way according to what has been determined; all the same, woe to that man through whom he is betrayed!” So they began to discuss among themselves which one of them could really be about to do this." Luke 22:14-23
The WTBTS [tries to] get around this by saying (1) Judas had already left... a lie...because (2) Christ would never have entered into the covenant with Judas... a lie; and so (3) Luke's account is not written in order... yet another lie.
This last one is most interesting because we can KNOW it is a lie... because of the reason Luke said WHY he WROTE his account... and HOW he wrote it:
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"Seeing that many have undertaken to compile an account of the facts that are given full credence among us, just as these were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and attendants of the message, I resolved also, because I have traced all things from the start with accuracy, to write them to you in logical order, most excellent The·ophʹi·lus, so that you may know fully the certainty of the things that you have been taught orally." Luke 1:1-4
Now, I know that, like me, dear brother, you like to look the word origins and transliterations in the Greek. So, let's look at the words "logical order",
kathexēs (G2517). It means:
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1. one after another, successively, in order
Consecutive, following after, etc. So, dear Luke, who wrote HIS account for the "most excellent Theophilus" said
his account was written in [the]
order of the events occurrences. Why? Because "MANY" had undertaken to write an account of the facts that he and others totally believed. Gave "full credence" to. Facts that were handed down to them NOT from JAH or Christ... but from folks who, from the beginning, were eyewitnesses AND attendants of the message. AND he qualified HIS version by saying "I have
TRACED...
ALL things...
FROM THE START...
WITH ACCURACY."
So, how in the
world can anyone assume his account is OUT of order? Yet, that is what the WTBTS teaches:
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"Immediately Judas left the group. A comparison
of Matthew 26: 20-29 with John 13:21-30 indicates that he departed before Jesus instituted the celebration of the Lord's Evening Meal. Luke's presentation of this incident evidently is not in strict chronological order, for Judas had definitely left by the time Christ commended the group for having stuck with him; that would not fit Judas, nor would he have been taken into the 'covenant... for a kingdom'." Insight on the Scriptures, Vol. 2, Page 130
So, there you have you have their position.
Judas was there, though, not just because Luke wrote that he was (and the accounts by Matthew and Mark both imply he was), but he was NEEDED... in order for the FULLNESS of the Covenant to be in effect. Once that occurred, he could be removed by Christ, the
assignor... and replaced... by the
assignee, Matthias:
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Assignee
1. a person to whom a right or liability is legally transferred.
2. a person to whom some right or interest is transferred, either for his or her own enjoyment or in trust."
Because Judas "failed to perform" under the contract (covenant) with Christ... his performance being his LOYALTY to and FAITH in Christ... he violated HIS part of the contract (covenant) and so rendered it "voidable." And so our dear Lord assigned Judas' portion to another (Matthias).
Dear, dear brother... let go of EVERYTHING those "false Christ and false prophets" have taught you. You CANNOT "put NEW wine in an OLD 'wineskin'." You MUST tear your "house" DOWN... to the
foundation... and then let CHRIST... "build"... again. Starting with himself, the "Foundation
Cornerstone."
But you'll only be able to do that... when you completely
quit touching the "unclean" thing.
I know you know this, and so will keep you... and your hope... in my prayers.
Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,
Shel