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May you all have peace!
I had mentioned earlier that some wonderful things had happened during my parents' visit this past week, and that I would share as I could. So this thread is about that sharing. All credit to all that happened goes to my Lord, and your Lord, Jaheshua, the Holy One of Israel and Chosen One of Jah. He is the one who made the straight path for my feet. He is the one who prepared the way.
So I knew my parents were coming to visit. I knew that I wanted to ask/invite my mother to partake with me, because I knew that she believed, even if I did not know WHAT she believed, and I wanted also partake WITH someone else (not that i am alone, my Lord is with me). But I wasn't sure what to do, how to do it, what to say, etc, etc. This time though, as opposed to most times in the past (especially during holidays) when I have tried to go it on my own, or be in control, and have ended up doing NOTHING as a result, as He has said:
"I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15:5
... well, this time before they came, I asked Christ to guide my steps and accepted that HE was in control, and put faith in Him to direct the visit according to His (and so His Father's) will. I took 'myself' out of the equation, so that it was not me in control or even trying to be, but that I put faith in Christ to control things.
This is what happened:
First, my dad decided that he and my mom should take two vehicles. Since my mom was off work one day earlier, and they were going to take two vehicles, she decided to come down one day earlier, surprising me. We had a nice visit, and the next day I brought my boys to school... and while we never have time for just the two of us... because she came early and on a school day, we had the entire day to ourselves.
At one point we started speaking about faith and Christ. Now, I have known for some time that my mother hears Christ. Years ago, when I was still studying with the jws, and talking about 'holy spirit', she said to me that she always thought that Christ was the Holy Spirit. That this is why He had to die and go to 'heaven' before the Holy Spirit could come, because He WAS the Holy Spirit. In jw fashion (though I was only a bible study), I corrected her with the jw teaching. She did not believe me (thankfully), and continued to put faith in what she had heard, but she did not say anything to me. Just spoke about what she believed, and left what I believed up to me.
But of course, learning later that Christ IS the Holy Spirit, I remembered her saying this... and I knew from that point that she had heard this truth from the Holy Spirit, who is Christ, Himself.
What I did not know is if she knew who she had heard this from, or if she just figured that she had thought it it herself, or reasoned to that herself. In fact, I assumed that she believed she had come to it on her own, as this is what she said to me.
So... during our talk that afternoon, I confessed hearing Christ, and my mother confessed that she DOES know who it is that speaks to her. She has always said to others that her 'conscience' told her, or a thought came to her, or a 'little voice' etc, etc... but she does know that this is Christ. So we talked a little about that.
But oh my goodness, I want to go off on a tangent for just a moment because I had to smile, and inside I was laughing... because she was telling me about how she argues with that voice sometimes, when He is reminding her that she must forgive and she does not want to forgive or be the first to reach out. So she is describing literally arguing with Him 'in her head' - and I picture her crossing her arms and stomping her feet, saying to Him 'but I don't WANT to, it isn't FAIR, it is ALWAYS me who reaches out first'... and all I could think was "wow, that is SO Israel', lol. However, in the end she listens, and she is lightened - unburdened - every time, as He has told her that she would be.
**
In any case, I was rejoicing to know that she hears Christ, and knows that He does indeed speak as the Spirit, and that we had confessed Christ to one another. And like I said, I knew that I wanted to ask her to partake with me. I just did not know how, and I was a bit afraid. Not of her reaction, but of what I would say... would I make a mistake, would I not honor our Lord, would I speak wrong over His body and His blood, etc, etc? Were there specific words I should say? This fear could have kept me from asking her, but I had put my faith in Christ, so I just kept moving forward, and tried to listen to His direction, asking Him also for courage.
A few days passed from that conversation and confession, and my dad arrived, and we all played games, went out to eat, joked, etc... this was one of the best visits ever, truly... and not because of anything in particular that we did, but because I felt so good, in spirit, to be remaining in Christ and listening to Him, regardless of what happened or did not happen. And regardless of what happened or did not happen, I was not apart from my Lord. I did not have to choose between enjoying my family and spend time with them, or remaining in Christ. I had BOTH!! All because I gave everything over to Christ... and what Christ touches IS clean.
In the last couple of days of their visit, had to work and time seemed to be running out for me to ask my mother to partake with me. But on the last afternoon of their visit (father's day), the men were golfing, the kids were doing their own things. My mother and I were mostly on our own. Still I was a little afraid... again of ME screwing up. I worried that I would not know what to say, and the thing is I DIDN'T know what to say. Perhaps that was my fear getting to me, paralyzing me.
But my Lord said to me, "She is your mother. Just SPEAK to her."
As in, no ritual words. Just speak to her, as your mother, and in honesty. I did not have to be afraid. As well, He told me that if I am her sister and/or servant in Christ, and I know that we are to eat and drink of our Lord... that without this, we have no life in ourselves... then how can I NOT invite her to partake also of His body and blood?
So I got dressed and showered (in the reverse order, lol)... and then I almost went and first read about the last supper in the bible to find the right words to say, but I stopped. That was a lack of faith, and I knew it. I had asked my Lord to guide me, and help me do what He wanted, and so I needed to continue IN that faith, having faith that HE would do as I asked of Him. I left the bible where it was, and went upstairs, leaned in the doorway to the living room, and watched my mother look up at me from her book. Now I have to say that she looked at me with expectation, knowing I was about to ask her something. Then I simply asked, "Would you like to have communion with me?" She said yes, set her book aside, and got up immediately. I got the yeast-less crackers, and the wine, and as I did this, I did what my Lord had said, and simply SPOKE with her, honestly and also casually, and we went downstairs to partake.
Now, I know that my Lord gave me the courage to ask her to partake of Him with me because I was weak... and I knew that He also gave us the command to wash one anothers' feet so I wanted to ask that also... but in my head, I thought that I could not do this, that she would probably think I was being weird and it might be too much, and so I thought it would have to wait for another time. Boy was I wrong! Directly after we partook... and without any doubt or fear or hesitation, I found myself asking her if I might do one more thing, in keeping with what Christ taught his disciples, with regard to washing one another's feet. And she said yes again at once, allowing me to wash her feet, and granting me the opportunity to obey our Lord.
Shortly after I had to go to work. Oh my, I wanted SO much to come and tell all of you about this and share not only my joy, but also to bear witness to the result of putting faith in Christ completely, to guide us, and to make the path straight FOR us. Because everything just fell into place - the confession about hearing Him from both of us, the shared partaking of His body and blood, the washing of feet. HE prepared the way.
I was also given something wonderful afterward, something for all of us who are in need or want on the matter... but that is another thread.
Peace to you all, as Christ gives peace... and also may be you be granted ears to hear if you wish them, so that you too may hear as the Spirit says to YOU, "Come! Take the free gift of the water of life!"
Your sister and servant, and a slave of Christ,
tammy
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