xjwsforChrist

Greetings and peace to you, all -

Last night, I was speaking with my dear Lord before going asleep. We were talking about "worthiness." Well, actually, "unworthiness." Well, actually MY unworthiness. My words, not his. Not that he said I was "worthy" - he just didn't say I wasn't. What he did was ask me a question, the answer to which greatly surprised me... and then, again, didn't because it made PERFECT sense and RESOUNDED (at least to me!) with truth.

He asked me: "Who is the last enemy, child?"

To which I responded: "Death, Lord. If there is no death we no longer have enemies."

He then asked me: "What, then, of the Adversary - is he not your enemy?"

To which I responded: "Yes, he is, Lord. But he is destroyed before Death is and so once death is destroyed we will have no more enemies."

He then asked me: "Are you sure, child?"

Which gave me pause. I mean, that's what the Bible states, right? And it makes total sense that once there is no death and all our enemies having been destroyed BEFORE that, so that death is indeed the LAST enemy... we would have no more enemies.

He then asked me: "Who is your FIRST enemy, child?"

And while my mind started to shuffle back and forth between Ad'Ham and the Adversary, the true answer hit me:

WE... are our not often our own WORST enemy... but we are ALWAYS our own FIRST enemy!

This is true whether we consider our sins and is true whether we consider ourselves "unworthy" because of them. For most, that latter manifests in negative "self-talk," brought on by a plethora of life experiences. From our parents parenting style, things we heard/learned/saw/felt as a child, things we experienced/were taught as a child, things we observed others doing/saying, particularly at home and school... to all of that as an adult and at home and work. Most people try to acclimate to the prevalent culture in their life, which culture can be a kind of "antichrist" (i.e., teaching, fomenting, propagating contempt, judgment, hate, even murder).

And so, I had to ponder that truth, that I AM my FIRST enemy. Not Ad'Ham, not the Adversary, not demons, not my parents, not my siblings, not my schoolmates or coworkers, not my neighbors, not the people in my local, state, national... or global "communities." And as I did ponder it, I realized that it IS true: I am. Me. I have the "honor" of being first in line for that responsibility. Whether due to my sins (i.e., from things I want to control but cannot always, including my thoughts... to things I probably should do/not do so as to protect my health, but don't always, and more)... or my "self-talk." Both are equally factored. It is a truth that, rather than saddening me, though, actually lifted me up.

Because I can DO something about how I "treat" ME. From (better) controlling the things I should as to myself... to loving myself BETTER (which is not the same a "more" - I think I'm good, there - LOL!). This doesn't mean that become self-serving or arrogant - it just means that I should pay better attention to and care more about things as to myself... which I haven't always done and don't always do... which has been/can be detrimental. The "works" of an "enemy"... to myself.

But here's another "kicker" that I realized: there is no guarantee I will succeed; indeed, to the contrary, I will at time fail. Which means, I will ALWAYS be my first enemy. That is, until the One who gave his own LIFE to set me TRULY free returns, gathers me to himself, and gives a "robe" that doesn't always try to war against me, punish me, hurt and harm me. The "robe" that has NO sin IN it... and so makes me TRULY free.

Now, I don't want you dear ones to think I am, I dunno, feeling "bad" about something - I am not. I am just marveling as to "why" we can't completely control our own bodies. For instance, heal ourselves (a gift some are given but to use on others so that JaH and Christ received the thanks and acknowledgment). I am marveling because I have even more understanding as to the TRUTH that "the spirit and flesh are at enmity."

It is because our own bodies... in which we reside/abide/dwell... and so, WE... are our first and so foremost enemy. And most probably the one we have to face FIRST. Every day. Because unlike dealing with the Adversary who looks for opportune times to play his games in our lives, we have to deal with OURSELVES... each and EVERY day.

May the underserved kindness and mercy of my God and Father, JaH Who Breathes (VeH), and the love and mercy
of His Son and King, my dear, dear, Lord, JaH'eShua, be upon you all and your dear, dear households!

Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,

Shel

Peace to you my sister,

Could not agree more! So so TRUE!

WE... are our not often our own WORST enemy... but we are ALWAYS our own FIRST enemy!

Which is why we have others that realized this as well...

Romans 7:15-19
For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate... For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing"

Galatians 5:17
“for the flesh craves what is contrary to the spirit. And the spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other so that you do not do what you want.”


But how wonderful to know this as you shared,

“until the One who gave his own LIFE to set me TRULY free returns, gathers me to himself, and gives a "robe" that doesn't always try to war against me, punish me, hurt and harm me. The "robe" that has NO sin IN it... and so makes me TRULY free.”

Thank you for sharing your conversation LOL


Love your sister, fellow servant and slave of Christ,
kim

Hello my dear sisters
May you both have peace.

Thank you for sharing. I can definitely attest to what you are saying. As Shel shared, the adversary takes breaks and waits for opportune time.There are times when I caused myself more pain, suffering and heartache than the adversary. And sometime for me this can last weeks and even many months dealing with the issues and problems I have brought upon myself. I have found that sometimes I have blamed others for my situation when in reality the problem was either my reaction; or the way I handled the situation. I have also come to realize that I do not have to wait for an opportune time to cause the problem. I can create problems for myself involving situations and circumstance that should be easy to handle. Sometimes, on a certain level, I am able to relate well to this bible verse.I do not feel like this all the time but definitely occasionally.

Rev 3:17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked

your brother Don

Yes and peace to you both, dear Mom and FinalCall... and THANK you for the verses you shared.

ESPECIALLY the one from Revelation 3:17, dear FC - Every time I share that one I MUST take a personal "inventory" as to where this applies to me and always BEG our dear Lord to MAKE me do HIS... as well as to KEEP "buying" from him!
More often than not, he responds by making me know of and sending me to share my belongings with someone in need (which is an infinitesimally small effort on my part to show mercy so as to receive mercy, which I receive beyond any measure my mind can even begin to comprehend).

Praise JAH for HIS undeserved kindness and mercy and His SON, my dear, dear Lord, JaH'eShua, the Holy One of Israel and Holy Spirit for HIS love... and peace!

Thank you both, again, and may JaH and Christ bless and keep you... and your entire household... to time indefinite!

Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,

Shel

Peace to you!

Shelby, thank you for sharing this. Yes, to all that you shared from our dear Lord Jaheshua about us being our FIRST enemy. This part especially resonated with me:




This is especially timely for me, and perhaps that is what is making it easy for me to see and accept what you shared. Because I just did it... treated myself 'worse' when I could have/should have treated myself better. I absolutely hear what you are saying about that not meaning being arrogant or self-serving. But I took a job on that I did not want to do (something more difficult that I might not even be able to do anyway), and passed up on something much easier, that would have left me free to do things I want to do as well as things I need to do. I have been regretting it all afternoon, and then I came home and read this.

I'm going to try and fix what I did. But what a good lesson (and timely, because I just did the whole 'I am my first enemy' thing, and the lesson might not have struck home for me if I had not just done it, lol).


Love your neighbor as yourself. Have to love ourselves in order to be able to do that.


And this:



Praise JAH and His Son Jaheshua!


Thank you my dear sister for sharing this as you received, and peace to you and to you all, and your dear households,
your sister and servant and fellow slave of Christ,
tammy

“Love your neighbor as yourself. Have to love ourselves in order to be able to do that.”

So true and profound my sister, thank you for sharing this.

Peace and love to you ALL and to your households,
kim

Thank both of you dear sisters, Tams and Kimmie, and dear FC (peace to you, all!) for your kind words AND for getting what I was trying to convey. When you live in a society that puts blame on everyone else, including "God," it's easy to overlook one's own self-treatment. But I am not referring to bad or poor treatment so much as... hmmmm... how can I say this. Okay, here's a GREAT example:

You all know that I am an insulin diabetic. As such, I should try and eat right. Well, being a JW when a young mom and between working full-time, raising 2 kids, meetings 2 nights and 1 day a week, along with "field service," etc., that was pretty hard to do. Not that I could cook - I LOVE to cook... when I can take my time. "Rushed" meals just take me "places" I don't want to go and pre-prepped was kind of on again/off again because microwaves were fairly new back then. So, I learned some very bad eating habits. This caused me to have to use more and more insulin, which is NOT good because your body becomes dependent on the increased amounts.

Two years ago, I was put on a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) which GREATLY helped me in tracking my glucose highs and lows. Greatly... but not enough. And then, last year, I was given a pump (FINALLY! Which is a story unto itself and for another time, maybe). Being on the pump not only gave me greater "eyes" to "see" what my glucose levels were doing, but also exactly when. And "exactly" is the operative word - I could see patterns in my eating that, if I really thought about it, didn't NEED to occur. I just "let" them.

Well, a few weeks ago I decided that, rather than "feeding" my low blood glucose drops with carbs, and then my result high glucose risings with more insulin (which would swing me back down - talk about a roller coaster; I've been on one glucose-wise for years!) I was going to decrease my insulin. BUT... that meant I had to decrease my carbs. Not only did I think that as someone for whom carbs played a BIG part in meals, that was going to be really tough but I couldn't quite imagine a meal without some kind of carb OR such carbs (on MY plate, at least) being anything other than rice, beans, potatoes, pasta, bread, fruit, etc.. I had quit baked goods several years ago (oh, the sugar rush! Not a "high" at ALL, but a BLASTING headache and nausea) but still "enjoyed" the "nutritious" kinds of carbs.

But while I couldn't IMAGINE what eliminating carbs would look like, I really wanted to NEED less insulin. So... I've been doing a modified form of "Keto." I say modified because (1) I'm not following any particular plan; (2) I am not doing "strict" keto; nor am I eating anything new or different from what I ate before... except less carbs. For example, where breakfast may have been steak, eggs, and grits, or steak, eggs, and rice, or steak, eggs, and toast... it is now just steak and eggs (or bacon, including turkey bacon) or sausage, or ham, etc., but NO girts, rice, or toast. Lunch (if I eat lunch - I'll get to that in a bit) might be half of a 6" sandwich (so half the bread) with meat and some veggies (some tomatoes aren't working for me any more so just nixed those altogether). Dinner (if I eat dinner; if I had lunch I don't even want dinner) is meat and veggies. Last night (and for the rest of this week), it'll be pasta-less lasagne (made the same way, just hold the pasta).

The result in this change has been VERY good, actually. Where my glucose used to be in control, say, 38-65% of the time (the average is 70% and most don't make it past 75%, which is considered "excellent" for Type 1 diabetics), I am now 70-85% in control on average. That. Is. HUGE. for someone like me. But it gets better: I am NOT hungry. I now have to MAKE myself eat (or my blood sugar will drop dangerously low). But when I do, my glucose, while it goes up (sometimes "high", sometimes not much at all)... within the appropriate timeframe it comes right back down to where it should be (70-120). HUGE decrease in "swings"!!!!!

My point is that I was not only my worst... but my first... enemy, here. Because no one but ME controls what I eat. And while I have the blessing of being able to afford insulin (and good insulin!), I was the only one forcing me to take so much of it. MY choices. All the way back to becoming a JW, which is where MY poor eating habits started what with all of the time-consuming and after work meetings, etc.

This isn't the only area where this applies (me being my first enemy), but it is one that, by my becoming my own FRIEND... changed things for me within weeks, if not days. I feel WAY better and I am far, FAR less hungry, which has resulted in a little weight loss (not purposeful but a fantastic side effect!). I do have bouts of "keto flu" (feeling like I'm coming down with a cold), but that only lasts a day and occurs only about once every 2-3 weeks. But it is well worth the trade off. I do (still) have issues that I am (still) eating meat but I am taking things one step at a time (my daughter and new daughter-in-law are pescaterians and I've learned that most plant-based proteins actually irritate my system. Boca Burgers (yum!) and tofu in miso or hot-and-sour soups are the only ones, thus far, that my gut can handle).

I apologize if I've "overshared" but learning that I was my own first enemy... and how/why that is... was HUGE for me. True, the above is with regard to my flesh, but it applies as well to my spirit. For instance, what if "I" had ignored the Master when he came to me those many years ago, tuned him out, and so was STILL a JW today? (Shudder!!) Would I not have been my own enemy in doing so? And the Adversary wasn't even involved, yet, so I couldn't blame him when my time to present an accounting arrived. And folks certainly won't be able to blame the religious leaders they follow ("But, Lord, THEY told me..."). Yeah, no, that's not going to fly. What, though, could I say when asked "Why didn't YOU listen to ME?" Absolutely nothing. And yet, so many don't listen (to him).

And so, not only was/is this huge, but I am SO grateful that I had to share it. And as you may be able to tell, I am STILL jazzed about it - LOLOLOLOL!

Anyway, again, dear Tams, Mom, and FC, I am glad it resounded with you, personally as well as abstractly, and I know it will serve you to know this going forward. It will definitely serve me.

Again, peace to you and may JaH and Christ bless and keep you ALL, and your dear, dear households!

Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,

Shel

I apologize if I've "overshared" but learning that I was my own first enemy... and how/why that is... was HUGE for me. True, the above is with regard to my flesh, but it applies as well to my spirit. For instance, what if "I" had ignored the Master when he came to me those many years ago, tuned him out, and so was STILL a JW today? (Shudder!!) Would I not have been my own enemy in doing so? And the Adversary wasn't even involved, yet, so I couldn't blame him when my time to present an accounting arrived. And folks certainly won't be able to blame the religious leaders they follow ("But, Lord, THEY told me..."). Yeah, no, that's not going to fly. What, though, could I say when asked "Why didn't YOU listen to ME?" Absolutely nothing. And yet, so many don't listen (to him).



Nope not too much information at all. It truly helps! Thank you for sharing,


Isaiah 48:17
This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.



Jah and Christ know what’s best for us both “physically” and “ spiritually” and I am so grateful they teach us so when we know better we can do better. The choice is always still ours and no one to blame.

Peace and love to you,
Your sister servant and slave of Christ,
kim

THANK you, dear, dear Mom (peace to you, my sister!) for that verse! PERFECT!

May JaH and Christ continue to bless and keep you and your dear household... to time indefinite!

Your servant, sister, and a slave of Christ,

Shel