Thank you ALL for your responses... and peace to you all!
Dear Zoe... peace to you, dear lady... and big men run on both sides of my son's family. My mother's brothers are/were big men as were/are my son's uncles on his father's side. No tall women, though.
Dear Anne B... peace to you, my sister... and you hit several nails on the head, thank you!
All... there is another layer to my perspective, and maybe it's a cowardly one (some might say so, but I don't think)... and that is, as a child born in the 1950's, of parents (well, a parent - I was raised by my father) the 1930's... and a descendant of American slaves... I am just glad we no longer live in a time when a black boy can be lynched... just for whistling at a white lady (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmett_Till).
As for WHY I taught my children what I did, I can only say that I cannot teach them what I don't know myself. And I have NEVER known what many in this country call "freedom." I shared what I did with my kids based very largely on my own experiences, which I won't bore you dears ones with (and there are far, far too many - too much board space to take up). I did what I did for the PRACTICALITY... of giving my son a chance to live past "age 18 to 25." Because for many young black males... the odds are greatly stacked against that.
Unlike my son, however, in ADDITION to law enforcement, I did fear other black males for him (i.e., "gang bangers", drug dealers, etc.) AS WELL AS other male whites, latinos, tongans, etc. I came from the 'hood, ya'll. And when I say 'hood... I mean THE 'hood. I grew up in Southeast San Diego ("Skyline," to be specific), which is the "South Central" (LA) of San Diego:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... an%20DiegoAs someone who grew up in the 'hood, I KNEW what my son's chances of survival was if I DIDN'T teach him these things: zero. I knew that if I didn't educate him as to the REALITY of being black male... either a gang would get him... or the police would. There usually wasn't a third choice where I come from... but I chose to make one for him. Starting with restricting his "freedom"
myself, but for his own GOOD. Hence, MY "rules."
And they were no different than, say, the "rule" JAH gave Adham. NOT "don't eat from that tree or I will kill you," but "don't eat... because if you DO... you will die." Same thing for my son: "Don't do... whatever" not because I would kill him... but because I knew that the chances were SO great that someone ELSE would.
Anyway...
Again, thank you all for understanding/trying to understand. It is TRULY appreciated.
Peace to you!
Your servant and a slave of God,
Shellamar